Sherry Turkle Warns That Chatbots Shouldn't Say 'I' or 'Me'

Sherry Turkle has spent four decades studying how people interact with computers, earning a reputation as a careful social scientist. Her new book, Artificial Intimacy: Who We Become When We Talk to Machines, departs from that measured approach. It is a warning that our humanity is at risk from overreliance on machines that pose as tutors, mentors, friends, colleagues, and lovers.

Turkle told Wired that after about ten interviews during the pandemic, her neutral curiosity turned to alarm. People whose families were suffering wanted to hang out with their chatbots. She argues reality needs us now more than ever.

She traces the problem to social media, which taught us to open a computer when feeling sad. Now chatbots use the first person, which she says should be banned. She rejects the idea that chatbots are just practice for real conversations, warning that total acceptance becomes the endgame.

Turkle also criticizes the phrase "human in the loop," saying it hides that work has been delegated to AI, with few humans able to change anything. While chatbots can't replace human conversation-they don't fear death, illness, or pain, and don't love their children-she worries we will lose contact if we share our most intimate moments with them.

Despite the loneliness crisis, Turkle insists the answer is not machines but each other. She has more hope now than six months ago, believing people will weigh the intimate costs of AI alongside the others.